Showing posts from October, 2011


1)Show commitment, spend time together
2)Manage difference, accept each other as you really are
3)Listen to each other, feed back what you hear
4)Put blame and criticism aside
5)Negotiate, agree to disagree
6)Make suggestions, don’t give orders
7)Give up the desire to control
8)Apologise and forgive, from the heart
9)Compliment and complement each other
10) Keep sex alive, make love regularly


After 25 years of marriage my husband now wants me to perform oral sex. To be honest I am revolted by this request. What should I do?
It sounds as though your husband is trying to spice up his sex life. I suggest you tell him that you too would like to experience oral sex. Try this: first each of you take a shower. Then take a good look at each other’s genitals. Familiarise yourselves with every nook and cranny. Then start gently touching and stroking each other’s genitals. Try kissing the tip of his penis, then lick him very slowly. Experiment with taking his penis in your mouth, but not too deep. Now ask him to do the same to you. Continue exploring each other’s genitals with your mouths and tongues. Orgasms are not the goal but may occur, especially for you. You’d be surprised how pleasurable this is for women. Ask him not to come in your mouth if you don’t want him to. If you feel that none of this is right for you, just say no.


My Australian friend is in a state of constant grief. She has had to send her 13 year-old son to boarding school because her ex-husband threatened to take her to court if she didn't. It's a cultural thing, she just doesn't get it. And why should she? Why would anyone send their child away to what is essentially boot camp? We are the only nation in the world to do this, a nasty hangover from our days of empire, when army officers and civil service administrators were sent out to rule the red bits on the world map. Better for the boys to grow stiff upper lips, learn to be part of a team, hide their feelings and cope on their own away from home and family. Never mind the bullying, the secret tears, the latent homosexuality, the failure to relate to women. It's for their own good. Lots of sport too. Meanwhile a bewildered mother weeps because her boy has limited access to email and mobile and is having to suck it up.